Today’s prompt is paths, from FMS photo a day. I didn’t think much about it, I like to see what I come across on the day. But today isn’t about physical paths for us. It’s about our paths in life.
Today we can earmark September as a turn in the pobs path. In all our paths. The first day he will go to preschool.
We got a call to tell us we are off the waiting list, we have a space. Just two mornings a week but it seems like more.
It’s strange. I wanted him to go, was disappointed when there wasn’t space. Wanted some time not constantly repeating myself or him, not parading down the street to a self sung theme of wheels on the bus. Not commenting on every vehicle, clearing up one less lot of poos.
Then I thought, hang on, more time off with my big little boy whilst on mat leave, it could be a good thing. I got used to the idea of him being my baby for longer.
Then he got a space from the waiting list. Shock, happy, sad, scared.
Two mornings suddenly seems a huge chunk of his little life I won’t share. Who will I sing wheels on the bus with? Who will tell me there’s a train or that ones a tractor? What if he poos eight times in two hours and no one changes him? What if he says one of our silly words and no one knows what he means? What if he needs a cuddle? His mummy? What if he loves it?
Guilt mixed with dread. I know he’ll love it. I know it’ll be good for him. But this is just the beginning. There’s much more to come from parenting I’m sure. Why didn’t anyone tell me.
The start of his path.