The Hopbine

Moving house and losing friends

Moving house is a huge upheaval. It’s massively emotional not to mention tiring and stressful. But really exciting too. One of my closest friends has just found a new house to move to too. We’ve done loads at the same time, we met when we were 18, went through the same development programme at work, went to Uni together. We’ve supported each other through ups and downs, confided in each other, supported each other unconditionally. Often through times when we were confused and indecisive. Life changing events that we’ve helped each other to decide on, been there to support each other.

We’ve seen each other get married, we shared starting our families at the same time with just three months between our children. Now we are both expecting our second child, again three months apart. And now we are both moving too. I’m moving three doors. She’s moving back to her home town. It’s only an hour away but it’s an hour longer than now. I can walk to her house now in five minutes.

They do need to move, they have a two bed house and are moving to a four. I’m really pleased for them, I honestly am. She’ll be nearer her mum (who owns a nursery), she’ll have much more support from her own mum when she has her newborn which she missed with her first. She’ll have childcare on tap. It’s easy for her to travel in to her job (when she goes back).

They are leaving their life behind, her husband has lived in our town all his life. They have great friends all nearby our town. It must be an extremely scary move to make but one she must feel like she has to. They have built their life here.

I have another friend who I have known since childhood who lives in Nottingham now and although a little further it’s all I have to compare. We do see each other, but it never feels enough. I miss walking to the park with her, going for a coffee, having a cuppa, watching our children grow together. I cherish the time we spend together but I’m used to it, it’s been like that for ten years.

This is different. We have shared so much and been so close to each other, even so I regret not spending more time together last time we were on maternity leave. I struggled at the time; I think we both did, having a new baby, fitting things in. I took it for granted that she would always be just down the road. Now she won’t be. I won’t be able to just call or text and meet at the library. Walk to the supermarket together, walk to the park, have a cuppa. We’ll have to arrange in advance plan things out. That will be ok for maternity leave but what about after, and the years after that? How will we see each other with after school clubs? Swimming, football, ballet on the weekend. Will we only manage twice a year? I hope not.

There is no magic cure. This is how it is. She has to do this for her and her family. It’s another change in the course of life. I’m sad we won’t get to share all the times we thought we would. I’m sad for me, her and our children. I hope that we can have some special times before they leave. I guess things just change.

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