I’ve found that since the pob every single one of my friendships and relationships has changed. Some for the worse some for the better. Over the past 18 months it’s something that I’ve personally found challenging and to be honest, hard.
You have less time, the time you have is precious, you want to spend time together in your new family unit. I’ve wanted to spend time with my sister and her children, my sister in law and hers and my friends who’ve had children the same age. But I’ve also wanted to share my pob with my old girlfriends, the special people in my life, regardless if they have children or not.
Family has been easy, supportive, fun, loving. Friends have been hard. Some I thought i’d see more of because we had children together but it’s so challenging, you have to find your own feet, a new way of day to day life and time just doesn’t work out. Some I’ve see less than ever.
Others who don’t have children have been great, I’ve seen them more. But some I’ve seen less. I don’t know if it’s because you naturally grow apart or your lives go in different directions but I think one of the saddest things in life is to have to force a friendship when once it was easy. Constant rescheduling, stilted conversations, not seeing each other for months. It’s horrible and makes you wonder where you went wrong. It makes you question yourself, your personality, your humour, where you belong. Some get back to easiness, some are lost.
For me it’s been a real challenge, it still is, to not question myself. To not take things personally. Friendships are something to treasure for however long they last. Life makes you closer and makes you realise that some people, no matter what will be there.