For me the biggest benefit of breast feeding has been to bond with my son. He was born by emergency section and I was under a general. He was whisked off to SCBU for a couple of days and fed through a tube. Before this happened it was always my intention of trying to breast feed but it then became my only way to bond with him. I woke from my section without knowing if i was still pregnant, had become a mother, my baby was alive or dead, boy or girl, here or not. I was very confused.
The pob was put to my breast that night, I have to be honest, I still didn’t have that rush of love, of course I loved him but I’d also just suffered extreme trauma to my body and mind from a seizure. It did help me to come round a bit though and realise this beautiful boy was mine.
Two days after the pob was born he was allowed to stay with me on a normal ward because I was feeding him. Even with a tongue tie we were managing (more of that later!). Night after night I felt more in love and closer to my boy. I started to feel like a mummy. Because I was feeding him. Breast feeding helped me feel close to him, helped me to get to know him after I’d missed his first moments in the world. I cherish the nights we spent together in hospital over the first week of his life, together, nursing and falling in love.
Once I was home, nearly two weeks after the pob was born I felt a huge rush of love, I felt like his mummy. I’m sure I would’ve got there anyway but breast feeding made me feel like a mummy quicker, it made me feel like I was doing something right after a horrific, traumatic and unnatural birth. I felt like I could be a mum to him. I suffered birth trauma but because I breast fed I managed to not need anymore medical help. I had my own medicine when I fed the pob, that’s how we managed to get over our birth and bond as mother and baby.
It’s been a bumpy ride but we’re still going 13 months on. I couldn’t have done it without the help of Lesley and Pam at a breast feeding support group in Stevenage Old Town. At the health centre on a wednesday 1:30-3:30pm, even though I don’t live in the area they helped me.
I think each mum needs to do what’s best for her and her baby, I don’t judge or care how other’s babies are fed. But I do think that breast feeding is a wonderful special experience and each mother should learn how it can be like that for them. It’s not a chore, shouldn’t hurt or be embarrassing, it is just a normal, healthy, loving way to feed your baby.
If you have enjoyed reading, you will find more bloggers taking part in the scavenger hunt here:
Complete the following to enter the Keep Britain Breastfeeding competition for the grand prize!
Leave a comment on this blog telling me what made you decide you wanted to breastfeed.
For extra entries tweet: I’m taking part in the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger hunt via @MrsSlender http://wp.me/p1XFlR-4x #keepbritainbf
Leave a separate comment for each thing you have done.